Hey Atlanta!
I went dress shopping today with my sister. We were out and about in Metro Atlanta on a Sunday afternoon… with everyone else in Atlanta, apparently. I encountered a lot of things that irked me today, and this reminded me that in the past few weeks I’ve been considering writing a “things I observe when out and about” blog post anyway.
So, clearly, here we are. Atlanta, you have inspired me. I shall crack my knuckles and get a-typing about the things I’ve seen in the past month or so, whether at the Mall of Georgia or on downtown Atlanta’s MARTA platforms.
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Roadblock People
I know that sometimes, public places can be a little confusing, especially MARTA stations, where there are big signs that tell you exactly where you’re going. Big, hideous orange signs… I know those can be misleading. But I really have to ask: why is it that when someone is uncertain of where they want to go and yet also too proud to ask someone, they instead choose to ride the escalator down to the platform, step off the escalator, and promptly stop? You can’t stand there! Stop standing there! The people behind you on the escalator also want to get on the platform! Get out of the way!
This also covers moving roadblock people. They may be moving with forward momentum, but they are moving slowly and are just getting in my damned way. I walk at a pretty good clip anyway — I get it from my dad, he practically sprints through airports — but especially when I’m in a mall, I move with purpose. I hate malls. I want to get to where I’m going, get what I need to get, and then get the hell out of dodge. I can’t do that when the halls are filled all the way across with preteens moving at the speed of molasses, and that is when I get cranky. These people are young and spry. Why are they not moving faster!? GET OUT OF MY WAY.
Cellphone Assholes
If you’re not instantly irritated by a mere mention of this, then you’re probably one of these people: the jerks who won’t hang up their cellphone for the minute or so that it takes to go through a checkout line in a store. I cannot stand these people. It is excessively rude to stand there and completely disregard your cashier while you’re checking out. What’s worse is that I saw a woman do this at Subway, where you actually have to interact with the people making your lunch. Jerk.
Public Transportation Jerks
This header covers so many sins… let me just tell you my least favorite thing about being a regular MARTA rider. See, I’m a girl. I’m a twentysomething, I’m a lady, I’m short, and I’m busty. I can pretty much guarantee that at least once a week, I get harrassed on MARTA by some guy I don’t know. Sometimes it’s pretty easy to ignore: creepy leering from across the train car, some skeezy eyebrow waggling. That stuff is gross and unappealing, but I can ignore it. Sometimes, though, it’s a man I don’t know getting into my personal space, and let me tell you something.
Getting in my personal space is Not. Okay. Getting in my personal space without my permission is a violation of my comfort zone and it unsettles me like nothing else in the world and it will lead to physical violence. I am nothing if not feisty, and I am fiercely protective of my comfort zone. Keep the fuck out.
No, You Are Not a Special Snowflake, I Was Here First
MARTA is full of people who just don’t get it. It’s a public space. As such, unless you’re handicapped or elderly, you have no right above anyone else to a seat, nor do you have any kind of priority over anyone else on that train. So when the train is pulling up to the station and I’m very clearly standing by the door waiting for it to open so that I can get off, it is not cool for you to push past me with a “this is my stop.” It is also my stop. You are a jerk.
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Sigh. I could go on forever, honestly, but it’s getting late. Sometimes I think I should subtitle this blog with something along the lines of “tales from the crosswalk” or “pedestrian skills 101: intro to not dying on your way to work.” Suggestions?

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