Author Archives: Teija

Planning, planning…

Posted by on 01/31/2012 2 comments

This past weekend, I went to the Atlanta Bridal Extravaganza with my mother, mostly just to see what it was all about. There was so much stuff to look at, and so many vendors to speak with, that I found myself pretty overwhelmed. But it was fun to see the dresses, venues, and especially the cakes. Mmm, cakes.

I’ve only just begun the fun of wedding planning, but I can see how so many people get kind of insane while doing it. I’ve had a good bit of fun going through venues and dresses just to see what’s available. To be fair, a lot of my searching has come up with stuff well outside of even my dream budget. What’s weird, though, is how many women have “jumped the gun” with wedding planning. My best friend Sarah and I were talking the other day about “Single Bridezillas,” something she heard highlighted on a radio show last week that has also been covered by ABC News. Women who have the wedding planned or a dress picked out before they have a fiance lined up! Quite honestly, it sounds like insanity to me.

The whole point of a wedding is to begin a life with someone else. To me, that means my fiance helps to plan it: we’re going to pick the venue together, we’re going to decide the menu together, and we’re going to pick out save-the-dates and invites and first dance songs and everything together. If I wanted to plan all of this by myself, I’d plan a birthday blowout.

The dress I can sort of understand picking out ahead of time–though how are you going to know how formal your wedding is going to be or if your tastes are going to change between now and then? While listening to this “single bridezillas” story on the radio, Sarah heard a twelve year old call in to say that her mother’s best friend had already bought her a dress and had it saved in a vault for her big day. First of all, is that dress in her mother’s best friend’s taste or her own? And secondly, she’s twelve. If I’d chosen my dress when I was twelve, I would likely end up walking down the aisle in this ridiculous thing (or worse, this thing. My god!).

The whole idea of “single bridezillas” rubs me the wrong way. Well, to be fair, the idea of a bridezilla rubs me the wrong way as well. I want my fiance to be a part of the planning, and I want the wedding to reflect both of us, not just me. After all, it’s the beginning of our lives together. I want him to be as big a part of it as I am.

Another year over…

Posted by on 12/27/2011 No comments

What a year it has been. This has probably been the most hectic year of my life. I have suffered a great deal of loss and sadness, but at the same time, it seems that the year balanced itself out by the end with a whopping dose of happiness. Let me break it down.

First, the bad: I lost a lot of people this year. Not only did I have a few friendships come to natural ends–nothing dramatic, just quiet little natural driftings–but I had a great deal of permanent loss. In February, I lost my grandfather on my mother’s side. He was in poor health, and his death was not entirely a surprise, but it still hurt nonetheless to lose him, particularly because it was my first time losing a grandparent. Unfortunately, as the year continued, it was also not my last. In September, I lost my grandmother on my father’s side, a far more jarring event in that it was wholly unexpected. She was as sharp as a tack to her very last day, and full of joy and life. Her death shook me pretty hard; in all honesty, I’m still having some trouble coping with it. Outside of blood relatives but still family all the same, we also lost one of our dearest family friends to a long battle with cancer in August. It has been an incredibly hard year, but all of the loss has brought the family closer together.

However, 2011 did not take without giving in return. I graduated with my masters degree in history this year after two and a half years of hard work and seemingly endless reading. I worked very hard to accomplish this, and I’m very proud of the effort I made to achieve this goal. And on top of my graduation, I also got engaged this year! The Swede got on one knee and asked for my hand on the night of December 22nd, and of course, I said yes. A thousand times, yes. I could not have found a more amazing man to spend the rest of my life with. Through all the good and bad of this year, he was a solid foundation of support, comfort, and love. I am happy spending time with him, whether we are sitting in front of the TV watching a football game with a beer or out winning trivia with our friends. He is perfect for me. Of course I said yes!

The year is winding down now. Here’s to a happy, healthy 2012–and a whole lot of wedding planning. Bring it on!

End of Line–

Posted by on 12/02/2011 1 comment

It’s finally here: I’ve attended the last seminar of my last graduate class. I’m graduating on the 14th of December with my Masters in History. It’s odd, as soon as class adjourned Wednesday night I found myself thinking, “Wait, that’s it? It’s over?”

It ended with almost a whimper. The reason for this is that the hard part was two weeks ago. Two weeks ago I sat my MA exams. Two weeks ago, I fought for the right to call myself a historian. Two weeks ago, I won that right… and now I’m just waiting for everything to wrap up, for commencement, for dinner at Fox Brothers with my family to celebrate, and a graduation party.

Welcome to the real world, self. What’s next? I’m not entirely sure. I’m looking for a full-time job, I want to start learning to play the guitar, I want to take up tennis, I want to start a novel… so many choices. So many opportunities.

Let me tell you the most valuable lesson I learned during my graduate program. It’s not how to gut a book. It’s not how to manage my work and school responsibilities and maintain a social life (hell, if you asked me how I did that, I’m not sure I’d be able to answer you anyway). It’s not even how to write a solid 5-page response paper within the ticking confines of a lunch hour.

The most important lesson I learned? Show up.

I don’t just mean show up to class, though that’s pretty much one of the most important aspects of being a graduate student. What I’m really talking about is getting anything done in the university system. The website is hardly ever helpful. Calling a department doesn’t work unless you actually like to sit on the phone with an undergrad who is getting paid diddlysquat to pretend to know the answers to your questions. Emailing is a crapshoot depending on who is on the other end.

If you want to actually get something done, you have to walk in there determined to get it done and you have to become That Person, the person that repeats themselves incessantly, that emails once a day until a question is answered, that “sends back the steak” if something isn’t right, and that walks into Financial Aid and refuses to leave until they talk to the person with whom they wish to talk. The person that sends emails via smartphone from outside someone’s empty office that say, “Hey. I’m here for our 5:30 meeting, and you are not. I’m going to hang around for 10 minutes in case you are stuck in traffic. Then I’m going to leave and we’re going to reschedule this, and you are going to show up next time, or I’m going to set your office on fire.”

(I never actually threatened anyone.)

(But I wanted to.)

(Oh, I wanted to.)

I’m not entirely unconvinced that the university system’s goal of providing its entrants with higher education is only a front for its One True Goal: teaching its entrants the art of patience. I learned just as much about dealing with ridiculous paperwork and logistical issues as I did about Modern European History during my two and a half year Masters program. I extended the short leash I had on my temper and I honed my strategic planning skills. And I became very good at getting my ducks in a row. My ducks are lined up.

I’m done. I’m graduating on December 14th with a Masters in Modern European History… and an unofficial minor in Handling Real-World Nonsense. I feel pretty accomplished.

All my loving, I will send to you…

Posted by on 06/18/2011 No comments

I’ve been trying to think of ways to keep myself updating this a bit more frequently, and one of the easiest ways is to make lists! So today, I give you the top 10 love songs off the top of my head that aren’t schmaltzy power ballads that only Delilah ever gives air time.

10. “It Had to be You,” Frank Sinatra

When a song is the featured musical piece in my favorite romantic comedy of all time, it is actually a crime to leave it off the list.

For nobody else gave me the thrill  / With all your faults I love you still  / It had to be you

9. “All My Loving,” The Beatles

It’s the catchiest song on this list! I love the idea behind this song: two people are about to be separated for some time, so one is simply saying to the other that he’ll miss her.

Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you / Tomorrow I’ll miss you / Remember I’ll always be true

8. “A Littlepiece,” Neverending White Lights

This is one of the most beautiful songs I have probably ever heard in my life. When I listen to it, I hear a man telling his introverted, maybe a bit depressed girlfriend, that he is there for her even when she’s at her worst.

You don’t have to breathe / I will, I will breathe in for you, love

7. “Kingdom Come,” Coldplay

Coldplay has a lot of good songs, a few of them pretty romantic. But I think that this is by far their most romantic song. It speaks to the idea that everyone has a perfect mate out there, and that they’re worth waiting for.

For you I’d wait ’til Kingdom Come / Until my day, my day is done / And say you’ll come and set me free / Just say you’ll wait / You’ll wait for me

6. “Sarah’s Apartment,” Juliana Finch

This is one of the most uplifting songs ever. It’s about two people who are pretty different finding a life together in Atlanta. It’s actually my dad’s favorite of Juliana’s songs.

‘Cause when she says she wants children / He knows that they’ll have his eyes / That’s enough to make him compromise / In Sarah’s apartment

5. “Chasing Cars,” Snow Patrol

Snow Patrol, oh Snow Patrol. Wherefore art thou, Snow Patrol? This song is one of my favorite songs of all time. I like the sentiment behind it: you and me against the world.

We’ll do it all / Everything / On our own / We don’t need anything or anyone

4. “Something,” The Beatles

It may be cheating to have the Beatles on the list twice, but I don’t care. I have the Beatles on the list twice. They’re my favorite band, after all. Might as well. I like this song because it’s about that spark that you feel when you meet the person you want to be with.

Somewhere in her smile, she knows / That I don’t need no other lover / Something in her style that shows me / I don’t want to leave her now / You know I believe, and how

3. “You and I,” Ingrid Michaelson

This is by far the cutesiest song on the list – it’s a twee girl with a ukelele, come on now – but it’s also super sweet. It’s very uplifting: you may not have a lot of money or be in the best place in life, but if you have each other, you can always dream big.

Let’s get rich and build a house on a mountain makin’ everybody look like ants / way up there / You and I

2. “Nothing Else Matters,” Metallica

What! Metallica? On a love songs list!? Yeah, that’s right. It never even says the word “love” in it anywhere, but it’s a love song. It’s about finding someone with whom you can be yourself, and I think that’s one of the most important things of all.

Trust I seek and I find in you / Every day for us, something new / Open mind for a different view / and nothing else matters

1. “The Luckiest,” Ben Folds

This is the number one most romantic song I have ever heard in my life. In it, Ben Folds tells three little vignettes, in which he is explaining how lucky he is to have met the person he’s met. The first is about how mistakes and failed relationships are the path that lead the road to the right one. The second is a story saying that he’s lucky to have been born in the right time period to be able to be with his love. And the third is the story of a couple that dies after a lifetime of happiness together. It’s gorgeous, it’s sweet, it’s romantic, and it makes me cry almost every time I hear it.

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

15 Local Tasties!

Posted by on 05/29/2011 No comments

A few friends of mine, most recently Sarah, have posted their top meals from around the Atlanta area, and I thought I would join in! Who doesn’t love talking about food? These aren’t in any kind of order (if I tried to rank them I’d sit here all day hemming and hawing, and honestly, how do you rank such different foods against one another? I submit that you do not!).

1. The Memphis Taco from Taqueria del Sol (Midtown).

2. The Shrimp Sandwich from Joli Kobe (Midtown).

3. Crispy Calamari Appetizer from Ru San’s (Midtown).

4. Nutella + Burnt Marshmallow Shake from Flip! (Westside).

5. Steakhouse Burger from The Vortex (Little Five Points).

6. Cajun Fries from Five Guys (Lindbergh).

7. Wild Mushroom Ravioli from Figo (Westside).

8. Pulled Pork & Beef Brisket Plate from Fox Bros. BBQ (Candler Park).

9. The Georgia Benedict from the West Egg Cafe (Westside).

10. Fish & Chips from Rí Rá (Buckhead).

11. Chicken Wings (medium!) from Taco Mac (Lindbergh).

12. Vegi Samosas from Chat Patti (Druid Hills).

13. House Salad from Fellini’s Pizza (Buckhead).

14. Falafel Wrap from Ali Baba’s (Broad Street).

15. Vieiras con Cremas from the Iberian Pig (Decatur).

Pedestrian Problems

Posted by on 04/03/2011 3 comments

I want to take some time out to highlight an organization called Hollaback!, which is devoted to putting an end to street harassment worldwide. As a pedestrian in downtown Atlanta and a frequent user of MARTA’s rail system, I have first-hand experience dealing with harassment, whether it’s basic dirty leering or actual physical intimidation. In one particularly scary instance, I was actually followed home from the train station. I’m glad that Hollaback! exists to allow people like me the opportunity to make our voices heard when we are made to feel uncomfortable during our daily commute. The Atlanta Hollaback! page is here, and I was first introduced to it by my friend and coworker, Lauren.

I have been meaning to post about Hollaback! for some time now, but I was reminded to do so after an incident this past week. I stopped by Five Guys to pick up a burger for dinner on Wednesday, and on my way back to my apartment — I had to bypass a MARTA station to get home — I was approached by a woman who looked upset. She asked if I was getting on the train, to which I answered no. I was, after all, just heading down the road to my apartment. She then asked if I minded walking with her around the station. Someone had been harassing her on the train to the point that she’d felt it in her best interest to disembark and leave, despite not being done with her trip.

My first reaction to this incident was anger. MARTA has its own police force, but all too often, women such as the one who approached me are made to feel unsafe and cannot find a MARTA police officer. They aren’t terribly visible on the actual trains: you’re far more likely to find one in a station, and even then, it’s not a guarantee. But that’s not even the problem. The root of the trouble is that we live in a world where disgusting, lecherous behavior is seen as a part of life women are just expected to deal with. We hear, all the time, arguments like, “Well, that’s what happens when you wear a skirt,” or “They’re just appreciating your good looks.” This puts the responsibility upon the woman, rather than the person who made them uncomfortable. Don’t want to get looked at like that? Well, don’t wear that skirt you like. Don’t look so nice. How dare you be pretty? Just deal with it. “That’ll happen.”

I don’t think so. That’s just not good enough. Rather than excusing this horrendous behavior, society should be discouraging it. I think Hollaback! is making a great effort to steer us in the right direction. Everyone has the right to feel safe in their everyday activities, whether it’s their commute, eating out with friends, or going on an afternoon jog. It’s time to stop excusing bad behavior.

things you learn as you get older

Posted by on 02/03/2011 2 comments

I’m not old. Not in the grand scheme of things. I’m in my mid/late 20s and all things considered, there’s a whole lot left for me to do in this lifetime. But I feel like I’ve already learned quite a lot, as far as “how to live your life comfortably” is concerned, and I feel like sharing some of this insight, mostly because if anyone can take even a little bit away from this post, then I’m being helpful. I like being helpful.

So here we go. Things I’ve learned — and am still learning, in some cases — in my 20-something years of living.

Friendships end. You’ll have to let go of people now and then. You’ll grow apart, the relationship will become unhealthy, the meaning of love might change for one or both of you. It happens. There are a lot of things that make it hard to let go of people. Long histories, millions of memories, dirty secrets… all these things make it difficult to let go of a friend, particularly if they’re someone you’ve considered a very close or even a best friend in your lifetime. The thing is that people change. The girl you grew up sharing all your secrets with might have developed into a woman with whom you have nothing in common. I have to admit, this is a lesson I’m still learning. There are people who only recently fell out of my life, one way or another, and I will tell you, sometimes it hurts a lot. But what hurts more is desperately hanging onto something that’s effectively dead. It’s only prolonging the inevitable, and the harder you cling, the harder it is to maintain what little might be left, strangely enough. Plus, you never know: maybe the drifting apart is the temporary thing. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you.

You have to plan your free time. Between having a job and seeing your friends, plus any additional stuff you’ve taken on (for me, it’s graduate school), you’ll find yourself with just about no free time at all. You have to make room for it. If you want your weekends free, you have to cram everything into the other five days of the week. Trust me, it’s difficult, and if you wait for free time to just happen it’s never going to happen for you.

You don’t need that thing you think you need. I’ve gone over five years now without that thing that everyone seems to think they can’t live without: a car. I have a drivers’ license, and on occasion I borrow a family member’s car if I need to, but I have managed a pretty sweet life in Atlanta without a car. And this applies to everything. Shoes, purses, concert tickets. I have become a pro at talking myself out of buying things (I’m currently working on “No, T., you don’t need those gorgeous Fluevogs, they’re $255 and that’s ridiculous”).

Love is all the things people say it is. That is to say, love can be painful, love can be amazing, and most of all, love has the ability through all manner of life situation to take the edge off and comfort you. Here’s where I crack my chest open for you guys for a second.

My grandpa is dying. As of this morning he’s been made comfortable, he’s been taken off his antibiotics because they’re no longer doing a thing to help him, and his breathing has become labored. It’s probably a matter of days and he’ll be gone. This is the first grandparent I’ve ever lost, and I know I’m a lucky person to have made it to my age with all four grandparents at all. But what makes me far more lucky than that is the support system I have. My family is incredibly tight-knit. I have an incredible boyfriend who blows my mind almost daily with how much I can feel for one person and how all those feelings I’m feeling are reflected right back at me from him. I have a roommate who heard the news and went into “occupy my mind” mode, taking me out on a “these are a few of my favorite things” evening of book shopping and sushi. Throughout this ordeal of sadness and heartbreak I have never once felt lost or hopelessly alone, and for that I have the love of my incredible friends and family to thank.

So yeah. Love. It’s everything it’s cracked up to be and so much more. While the love I have for my grandpa is currently tearing my heart in two, the love I feel from everyone else around me is working simultaneously to keep me in one piece. And let me tell you one more thing: that’s how I know I’m alive.

Whoops.

Posted by on 11/15/2010 No comments

It’s been months — months! — since I’ve written here.  The whole point of tekkah.net was to have a blog, was it not?  Good job, self, good job.

Well, here I am.  Actually, the gap in posting is due to something I want to talk about: workaholism.  I am insanely busy.  All the time.  Whether it’s because of my job or it’s because of graduate school, my schedule is just about full to capacity.  I have very little free time and thus, what little free time I do have has become incredibly valuable to me.  I want to spend it with people who are just as valuable to me, and I do — sometimes I manage a night at Taco Mac with close friends, expanding my Brewniversity list one British beer at a time (though, with the addition of Tetley’s last time, I have finished off the British Isles and must move to mainland Europe).  Sometimes, I make away with a relaxing night in with the Swede, watching early episodes of the West Wing or catching up on Dexter.  For Halloween, I even managed to get in a pirate costume and go to a party.

Wild, I know!

In any case, the point here is that while my blog is somewhere on my list of priorities above “reorganizing my iTunes library” and below “make sure there’s always clean underwear in the drawer,” when my life gets as busy as it does, the blog tends to fall off the radar.  Which is probably how it should be.

Hey Atlanta!

Posted by on 08/16/2010 3 comments

I went dress shopping today with my sister.  We were out and about in Metro Atlanta on a Sunday afternoon… with everyone else in Atlanta, apparently. I encountered a lot of things that irked me today, and this reminded me that in the past few weeks I’ve been considering writing a “things I observe when out and about” blog post anyway.

So, clearly, here we are.  Atlanta, you have inspired me.  I shall crack my knuckles and get a-typing about the things I’ve seen in the past month or so, whether at the Mall of Georgia or on downtown Atlanta’s MARTA platforms.

—

Roadblock People

I know that sometimes, public places can be a little confusing, especially MARTA stations, where there are big signs that tell you exactly where you’re going.  Big, hideous orange signs… I know those can be misleading.  But I really have to ask: why is it that when someone is uncertain of where they want to go and yet also too proud to ask someone, they instead choose to ride the escalator down to the platform, step off the escalator, and promptly stop?  You can’t stand there!  Stop standing there!  The people behind you on the escalator also want to get on the platform!  Get out of the way!

This also covers moving roadblock people.  They may be moving with forward momentum, but they are moving slowly and are just getting in my damned way.  I walk at a pretty good clip anyway — I get it from my dad, he practically sprints through airports — but especially when I’m in a mall, I move with purpose.  I hate malls.  I want to get to where I’m going, get what I need to get, and then get the hell out of dodge.  I can’t do that when the halls are filled all the way across with preteens moving at the speed of molasses, and that is when I get cranky.  These people are young and spry.  Why are they not moving faster!?  GET OUT OF MY WAY.

Cellphone People

If you’re not instantly irritated by a mere mention of this, then you’re probably one of these people: the jerks who won’t hang up their cellphone for the minute or so that it takes to go through a checkout line in a store.  I cannot stand these people.  It is excessively rude to stand there and completely disregard your cashier while you’re checking out.  What’s worse is that I saw a woman do this at Subway, where you actually have to interact with the people making your lunch.  Jerk.

Public Transportation Jerks

This header covers so many sins… let me just tell you my least favorite thing about being a regular MARTA rider.  See, I’m a girl.  I’m a twenty-something, I’m a lady, I’m short, and I’m busty.  I can pretty much guarantee that at least once a week, I get harassed on MARTA by some guy I don’t know.  Sometimes it’s pretty easy to ignore: creepy leering from across the train car, some sketchy eyebrow waggling.  That stuff is gross and unappealing, but I can ignore it.  Sometimes, though, it’s a man I don’t know getting into my personal space, and let me tell you something.

Getting in my personal space is Not. Okay. Getting in my personal space without my permission is a violation of my comfort zone and it unsettles me like nothing else in the world and it will lead to physical violence.  I am nothing if not feisty, and I am fiercely protective of my comfort zone.

No, You Are Not a Special Snowflake, I Was Here First

MARTA is full of people who just don’t get it.  It’s a public space.  As such, unless you’re handicapped or elderly, you have no right above anyone else to a seat, nor do you have any kind of priority over anyone else on that train.  So when the train is pulling up to the station and I’m very clearly standing by the door waiting for it to open so that I can get off, it is not cool for you to push past me with a “this is my stop.”  It is also my stop.  You are a jerk.

—

Sigh.  I could go on forever, honestly, but it’s getting late.  Sometimes I think I should subtitle this blog with something along the lines of “tales from the crosswalk” or “pedestrian skills 101: intro to not dying on your way to work.”  Suggestions?

Nonsensical Medical Musings

Posted by on 07/14/2010 1 comment

I have no idea what brought this on, but I was just thinking about the lazy eye.

Why does an eye get an adjective like “lazy” when most other medical conditions have, oh, I don’t know, something a little more specific?  If a doctor tells me I have an inflamed tendon in my wrist I am getting at least a bit of description.  The tendon is inflamed, this is why my wrist hurts, tadaa!  Meanwhile a lazy eye tells me… what?  That I need to whip it into shape?  “Get off your ass, eyeball, and be more productive around the house!”?  I’m pretty sure that doesn’t do a damn thing, except perhaps make me look crazy.

But that got me thinking that maybe, instead of wondering why the lazy eye gets to have an adjective like “lazy,” I should be wondering why other body parts don’t get similar treatment.  How great would it be if you went to the doctor with stomach pains and he told you, “Well, you’ve got a melodramatic lower intestine”?  Or if you went to the dermatologist to have a mole checked out and she told you, “It’s nothing to worry about, really, just a sad mole.”

I think that would make medical maladies at least a bit more interesting.